Back by popular demand, another examination of basic bitches. October is a VERY busy month for the basic bitch..
By Sara O’Connor
Now that we know what a Basic Bitch is (need a reminder? click here), we can extrapolate what her actions will be in a given circumstance. This particular circumstance is the start of October, accompanied by pumpkin-flavored everything and cooler weather in every state except Florida.
In October, a basic bitch will –
Tweet “Happy October” on October 1st, followed by at least three emojis of leaves/trees/scarves (ALREADY HAPPENED)
Wear chunky scarves
Take selfies while wearing chunky scarves
Eat froyo while wearing chunky scarves
Wear boots with leggings
Wear hats
Talk about how much they love football and “Who will come over to watch the game with me tonight srsly?” (but it’s a bye week)
Jump in a pile of leaves
Instagram a picture of themselves jumping in a pile of leaves
Walk through a pumpkin patch for two hours Instagram a picture of themselves sitting on a pumpkin
Order a Pumpkin Chai Latte from Starbucks
Instagram their Pumpkin Chai Latte
Order a pumpkin scone from Starbucks
Instagram their pumpkin scone
Make desserts which look like candy corns (of course they got the recipe from Pinterest)
Complain about how they haven’t been to a bonfire yet.
Sara O’Connor was born and raised in east Central Florida. After graduating with honors from Florida State University, she moved to the Great White North. After eight winter months, she came to her senses and moved back to where she could enjoy 105 degree weather.
